


Exhaustion

by livxxmarie



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Sad, Spin the Bottle, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7474317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livxxmarie/pseuds/livxxmarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ex·haus·tion<br/>iɡˈzôsCH(ə)n/<br/>noun<br/>a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exhaustion

**Author's Note:**

> There is BRIEF MENTION OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. It is very brief, but I thought it would be best to mention that OUTRIGHT since I couldn't find the tag for it in the warnings.

Link’s heart raced as the bottle stopped in front of Rhett, the taller of the two staring at the thing like it had personally stung him. He tried to laugh off the disgust that was evident on Rhett’s face, making some joke that he could barely register as it slipped easily from his tongue. The joke made others laugh and even relieved Rhett’s dark gray eyes of some annoyance, but the blatant discomfort felt like a kick to the teeth.

He leaned forward, willing his heart to quiet down and doing his best to prevent tears from welling up in his blue eyes. He shut them for a moment, pecking Rhett lightly on the lips and ignoring the sparks that lit up around them. He could see clearly from the other boy’s expression that the electricity was one-sided. Link looked away, shoving the guy next to him who teased him at their kiss, pretending like everything was okay and that he was also disgusted.

That last part wasn’t so difficult to do, his self-hatred building up to a peak level, countless bible verses screamed at him from his internal conscious. He stayed as more people played and eventually made some lame excuse to leave the room. No one seemed to care about his absence. Rhett nodded at him, not really meeting his eyes, and Link tried not to let it bother him.

They were growing apart steadily. He knew that. It wasn’t too much of a surprise. The taller of the two had grown increasingly interested aware of how others viewed their friendship. He’d spat out the teasingly homophobic remarks that were told to him with intense disdain. It crushed a large part of Link, killing the hope that he had foolishly allowed himself to linger in. Reality threw Link into a deep depression and now he was barely holding onto the world around him as the love he felt for his best friend ate through his soul and penetrated his every thought.

He walked to the backyard of the house, unfamiliar and calming. It was empty, everyone either on the front porch smoking or inside the house drinking. He could be alone with his emptiness to dwell and self-pity. He hoped that Rhett would want to leave soon so they could exit and he could go home and drown himself in his own sorrow. It was ridiculously pathetic and Link shook his head at his own behavior, willing himself to pull it together and put on a fake smile. And, _Christ_ , did he try, but it got so damn hard and he was so _exhausted_.

He prayed nightly to a God that he was told could never love someone like him for a miracle, for a cure. On the worst nights, he would pray for permanent relief of the life he was barely leading. It was hopeless. His love for Rhett was everlasting, which meant the emptiness that flowed through his veins would also be a constant. He prayed to stop caring, prayed to stop loving, but with every step that Rhett took away from his side, his heart ached more. He wanted to run away, find something worth living for again.

Most of all, he prayed for Rhett to love him back. Prayed for the man to find it in his heart that he could be more than just a friend. He whispered prayers through broken sobs, pleading to the Lord that he could feel for one day how it would feel to be loved by Rhett. He bargained his soul, making promises of ridiculous feats that would be near impossible to accomplish for the possibility of an everlasting _something_ with Rhett that wasn’t so damn unrequited.

The deeper he fell into his hazy disaster of depression, the less he did. He stayed in his room for most of the day, only exiting to grab dinner or to go to their secret spot and cry his eyes out at the earliest hours of the morning. There was a time that he remembered when Rhett told him repeatedly that they would always have each other. He went over the lost oath, forgotten by the blonde but never more painfully present in Link’s mind. He laid on the grass, the earth around him silent as he shut his eyes and lived in the nostalgia of Rhett’s love. It had been platonic, which at one point was painful, but without even a sense that the boy cared for him an ounce at this point, he would kill for those stolen moments in their own world, Rhett laughing with him easily. He wished he was a priority again, something worth fighting for. It was a hopeless desire and Link knew that they would never be what they once were. Not while he was feeling like this and definitely not while Rhett’s eyes passed over his own with such indifference that it shot the brunette in the stomach.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been out there when the grass behind him revealed that someone was approaching. He wiped his eyes quickly and faked a yawn as an excuse for his appearance. Rhett nodded down at him and gestured towards where Link’s truck sat dormant on the lawn.

“You ready to go?”

Link waited a beat, knowing that Rhett could see through his masked emotion. He willed the taller boy to say something that indicated his concern or at the very least, his acknowledgment. The moment never came and Link switched his gaze to the ground, getting up and giving up in the same few steps.

“Sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> This one hit a little close to home. Sorry for the pain. Possibility of a sequel with a happier ending?


End file.
